The Angst of Not Thinking

Reading Robinstein and Kotsko and Bienko and whoever Jared Sinclair is, I find myself feeling that I am not very thoughtful these days . . . at least thoughtful in a directed academic, literary, philosophical, theological sort of way. My first inclination is to say that I don't have enough time--which is literally a good excuse (I'm at work 5 days a week, 24 hours a day). I have stayed up later at night reading in my tent, but I always seem to have little energy the next day. Believe me, I need energy in my job/life (my job is my life). I have two days off a week in which I could do some concerted reading and thinking. But hell, I can't drink for five days a week, so I gotta get my drink on. And I use these days to pay bills, run errands, and rest up for the next week. Still, I read Christian Science Monitor, Harper's, National Geographic, and a book every now and again. I'm lucky if I read a few articles a day, though. Sure, I could be doing better.

Back when I was involved in a creative, artistic, thoughtful community (121 Old Farm Midcourt), I was doing some good reading and depth of thinking. However, back then I always had the angst of thinking and reading about what I should or could be doing with my body. Now I'm doing it.

The angst of not thinking is not as great as the angst of not doing. Perhaps I just need to be a little more thoughtful about what I am doing.