Birthday O2

Since I have yet to respond to a post from another blog, being so "blog-o-centric" as I have been, I think I will speak to the science and technology theme that Gorss addressed at Coney Island. Let's take a moment and consider the oxygen machine. When the body is not getting enough oxygen, say because you are in shock, or because you are old and have emphysema, all you do is hook this mask up to your face, crank a valve, and WA-LA, you are in breathing heaven.

Today is my 28th birthday, and I played basketball with a co-worker and four teenagers today at the Y. While I excel at passing and fouling, and I am just o.k. at shooting, I dribble like a drunken crack addict with one arm. Once I get the ball and start dribbling, all of my insecurities from my elementary school park district basketball team come flooding back. I'm just plain lousy at ball control.

Five minutes into the game, all of my 28 years (and I suppose the 1 or 2 cigarettes/day that I have been smoking for a while now) caught up with me. I was doubled over sucking wind with a sharp pain in my lungs. Soon I was lagging behind on defense (this was 3 on 3) looking for a "fast break." The saliva in my mouth collected in a gel-like mucousness and kept trying to get into my throat. Fifteen minutes into it, I was leaving the game in the middle of play and visiting the drinking fountain. It was not a pretty sight for the old man.

While I DID make around five buckets and my team DID win, I have come to a realization. I will never play basketball again! Leave my lazy life of beer-drinking and cigarettes? Hell NA!

Doctor, can I get the oxygen PLEASE.

Happy birthday to me.