My biggest flaw

My biggest flaw is that I have been and always am too focused on the present moment. I cannot take a step back, analyze a situation, and then discuss, respond, etc. I am always reactionary. Always. This plays itself out too often and too well in my job. I work with families of "emotionally and behaviorally disturbed" teenagers. WTF? Can someone show me a teenager that isn't emotionally or behaviorally disturbed in some way? If you can, then that is disturbing. The most disturbing thing is that teenagers can be "disturbed" simply because they are teenagers. But their parents don't have that excuse. Yes, I often relate to parents that are far more emotionally disturbed than their "disturbed" teens.

So back to my biggest flaw. I react. To situations, to people. I think it is mostly my facial expressions and partially my words. But I alway think back on a situation that happened and think, "why the hell didn't I say this that or the other thing?!!" And I always come up with something better.

I have learned to trust myself in my own reactionariness. Which is why I distrust blogging. I have too much damn time to think. But not really. When I comment, I comment in the moment. I react. And then I click the damn button and there it is, in print. Of course I think of better things to say 10 minutes later, but by then it is already too late.

Perhaps I will regret this post.


Update: I regret this post.