Clemens, Lee, Nipples

I was just looking at the stats for Major League Baseball. All sidled up to my desk with a big wad of grape Big League Chew in my cheek I looked over the Chicago Cubs pitching staff. Maddux is quite impressive. So is Zambrano. Leicester? Not quite, but I don't think he's found his groove yet. Dempster has had some good games and could be considered our number 3 pitcher.

Speaking of pitchers, have you seen Roger Clemens pitch this year? Damn! He pitches with a mission. Leading the league in ERA with a 1.46 average, Clemens has pitched 142 games allowing only 96 hits, 27 runs (23 earned) and 5 home runs. Roger is 42-years-old and this guy is HOT. Somebody slap him with a popsicle!(especially when they play the Cubs)

I must say, though, that Derreck Lee is my man! Not only is he my cousin, but he is having the best season of his career. He's been in the league 9 years and is putting up some numbers like he never has before. Leading the league with a batting average of .364 (career best of .282), he is tied for 1st as the home run leader with 32 yard balls (the most of his career) and is in 5th place for RBIs with 82. My other cousin from The Brewers, Carlos Lee, is right above him with 84 ribees.

Which reminds me when I was in high school. I played ball with this guy who had a red growth on the lower part of his ribs. It didn't seem that cruel to call him Triple Nipple. He really didn't seem to mind that much. I honestly don't remember the guy's name, but he used to like to eat sunflower seeds when we were both sitting on the bench(I was the backup catcher and occasionally used pinch hitter and pinch runner). He thought it made him look cool spitting all that shit out of his mouth. Me, I just ate them whole and got tired of them quickly. Never have been a big fan of sunflower seeds. Still, I always kinda liked Triple Nipple. He was a good guy . . . for somebody with three nipples.